Changing who you are is more important than focusing on your goal because it makes the change sustainable
There are two reasons for the difficulties we face in changing our habits:
- We try to change the wrong things.
- We try to change in the wrong way.
There are three layers of behavioral development: outcome, process, and identity:
- Outcomes are the result of the change.
- Processes are actions that you take to implement the change.
- Identity is your beliefs.
The issue that arises when developing lasting habits is the direction of change.
⚡️Character change should be your focus, not achievement.
Altering belief must precede the modification of behavior. Who you are is more important than what you do. If a habit becomes a part of your personality, the chances of you maintaining it are much higher.
Take some time to think about who you want to be. Then ask yourself what you must do to become that person. Behavior is often a response or an outward manifestation of identity.
Cognitive slumber is when you follow the norms you grew up to know without challenging these narratives. You will change as you become aware of the scripts you are acting out in your life. For example, you are average at math, and your experience has conditioned you to think math is not for you. Over time, you gather evidence from your grades that reinforce the belief that you’re bad at math. Shifting your thinking or belief about math creates a new reality; after all, you’re average, not bad.
Your beliefs form throughout your life. You don’t have much power over your values in childhood and adolescence. Your environment determines them, including your parents, school, friends, and the media you consume daily. This influence can be beneficial, providing helpful and insightful beliefs, or detrimental, damaging your worldview and overall attitude.
Once an adult, you can consciously dismantle those beliefs and leave those that benefit you.
Your activities can help you change your identity for the better.