To shift from being a victim to being a victor comes down to how you ask a question — why me?
The way you ask this question determines the difference between a tragedy and a triumph in life. Despite the overwhelming odds you may have to surmount, if you choose to look for the gifts in these odds, you will be making a shift from being a victim to being a victor.
Whatever we focus on in life grows.
You can have nothing and be grateful for everything and have everything but be grateful for nothing. A victim’s favorite question is: Why me? They are always wondering why things don’t work out for them. They see everyone else as enjoying a better life than them.
Victors ask the same question: Why me? However, they ask it with a different attitude. They see their challenge as a gift and are eager to find out what they can learn from the experience.
“Changing the way you ask this one simple question transforms the answers you get, what you do with them, and ultimately how you live.”
John O’Leary
How do you see your relationships, daily events, chance encounters, and significant moments? Your perspective will radically transform the life you live in terms of longevity and vibrancy.
It is our perspective, not our circumstances that determine the quality of our lives and the level of joy we experience.
In 1986, researchers at the University of Minnesota began an experiment that was later dubbed the Nun Study. They wanted to find the connection, if any, between attitude and longevity in life. 180 nuns from the Sisters of Notre Dame in Milwaukee were selected for the study. Nuns were chosen because they are a homogenous group and extraneous variables would be minimal. The researchers tracked positive and negative comments from the journals of these nuns.
The study revealed that while 34% of those who were least cheerful in their journaling were alive at age 85, a staggering 90% of the cheerful ones were alive at the same age. 10 years later, they found that 54% of the cheerful group were alive at age 94 while only about 11% of the least cheerful made it to that age.
The amount of positive or negative feelings you express can affect the longevity of your life.
When life knocks you down, see it as an inflection point and choose to be intentionally grateful. Celebrate the little things because there are no ordinary moments in life. The victor’s shift is about looking to what we have, not what we lack.
“With gratitude, we unlock vitality, longevity, and optimism. We escape from chains that bind and walls that trap into a life that is on fire and a party that is raging.
John O’Leary