Identifying your core values and transforming them into behavior
The first steps toward living your values are writing them down, narrowing them to just two, and naming them. As much as you think you have infinite values, your two core choices drive and form the bedrock for the rest.
The second step is transforming these named values into behaviors. Define three or four behaviors that support and three or four behaviors, though tempting, that oppose your values. For Dr. Brené Brown, courage and faith are the core values that propel her to speak up on issues such as race, immigration, and social justice. She does not allow any dehumanizing language around her. Her faith helps her find God in people rather than hating them; she hates only their ideas.
⚡️Courage and faith help you show up for people in pain and discomfort.
The third step is empathizing and having self-compassion. Empathy helps us push against secrecy, silence, and judgment.
Self-compassion allows us to cheer ourselves on before expecting others to. It is crucial for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Self-compassion can lead to reduced stress, improved resilience, and greater self-esteem. It can also help us cope better with challenging situations and bounce back from setbacks more easily.
We need to remain aligned with our values at all times when giving and receiving feedback. We should be willing to sit next to the person rather than across from them with the problem placed in front rather than between. We should be ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that we may need more clarification sometimes. And we should be prepared to praise rather than speak badly of others.
Understanding other people’s values helps us relate to their actions. It enables us to see the true meanings of their words and actions based on their values rather than any concocted opinions we may have standing in the way.
It is also essential to set clear expectations, and always follow up values with behaviors that directly express them. Daring leaders believe that people are doing their best and assume positive intent to encourage growth and change.